Herb's Humor

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a
while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help
but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."

The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"

The first guy says, "So am I! And where about from Ireland
might you be?"

The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."

The first guy responds, "So am I! Sure and begorra. And what
And what street did you live on in Dublin?"

The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was. I lived on
McCleary Street in the old central part of town."

The first guy says, "Faith and it's a small world. So did I!
So did I! And to what school would you have been going?"

The other guy answers, "Well, now, I went to St. Mary's, of
course."

The first guy gets really excited and says, "And so did I.
Tell me, what year did you graduate?"

The other guy answers, "Well, now, let's see. I graduated in
1964."

The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down
upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in
the same bar tonight. Can you believe it? I graduated from
St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!"

About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down, and
orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shakes his head,
and mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight."

Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?"

"The Murphy twins are drunk again."

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After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this morning."

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Kissing a Nun

A taxi cab driver got a call to pick up someone from the
airport. When he got there, he was surprised to see a nun
waiting for the taxi. As she climbed into the car and gave
the driver the address, the driver noticed how beautiful she
was. As he drove on, he kept looking into his rear-view
mirror at her. The nun couldn't help but notice him looking
at her. Finally, the cab driver said, "You know, Sister, I
think you're really quite beautiful."

"Well, thank you," she answered.

The driver went on, "I've always had a fantasy of kissing a
nun."

"Really?" she asked. "Well, then, pull over." The driver did
so. Then the nun asked him a few questions. "Are you
married?" she asked.

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When I was a young turkey,
 new to the coop,
 My big brother Mike
 took me out on the stoop.
 
 Then he sat me down,
 and he spoke real slow,
 And he told me there was something
 that I had to know.

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A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music.  No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.

He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads:  Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.

Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward!

Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.  By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed.  This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar.

When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward.  The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave.  They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

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In light of the recent turmoil in the market, I thought this would be helpful.

Investment tips for 2008

With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, this might be some good advice.  For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in later this year:

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The song by Carrie Underwood, "Jesus Take The Wheel" has been played (overplayed, possibly) on all sorts of stations, country, and religious.  This version is a little different...

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Some of these old but some new.  Should give you a chuckle for the day.

They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters and computers. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).

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Got this e-mail from Carter.

I read a book about the great Indian religous leader Ghandi. I found there were so many things about this mystical spiritual leader that I had never known. For example

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