This is a test entry for the notification program

For my friend, Daveman, Happy (belated) Birthday and Get Well Quick.

(I hope you can see the bird on the hippo's back...)

Actually it sounds more like a toast than a blessing, and I think it would make a great prayer, too.

A Texan farmer goes to Australia on vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets to talking.  The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh!  We have wheat fields that are at least twice that size!"

They walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.  The Texan immediately replies, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."

The conversation has died down when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.  He asks the Aussie, "What are those?"

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The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"

Maybe it would work for politicians, too.

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A famous trial attorney went on a duck-hunting trip.  He found a duck and shot it.  The duck fell in a field and as he was about to pick it up, a farmer came along and said, "don't touch that duck!"

The attorney said, "I shot it.  It's mine."

The farmer said, "This here is private property.  It's mine."

"Don't you know who I am?  I will hire a bank of lawyers and sue you for everything you have."

"You won't have the duck.  We can settle this, however."

The lawyer started reaching for his wallet, thinking he knew what "settlement" meant.

The farmer said, "Put that away.  Down here we have the 3-kick rule."

"The 3-kick rule?  What's that?"

"I get to kick you 3 times as hard as I want, then you get to kick me 3 times until one of us gives up.  Then whoever wins gets to keep the duck."

"Okay."

"I go first," and the farmer kicked him low and hard in the stomach.  When he bent over, the farmer kicked him in the face.  The attorney fell over and the farmer gave him a vicious kick in the kidneys.

The attorney finally got up, barely catching his breath and said, "At least now it's my turn."

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"Nah, that's okay, I changed my mind, you can have the duck."