Herb's Humor

Something Funny Is Going On Here!

(Jokes so clean, you could even tell your pastor.)

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  • About This Blog

    How It Started: I have had many influences in my life that taught me the importance of having a sense of humor, how to get a joke and how to tell a joke. John, David and Ken. John and David are with God now, I don't know what ever happened to Ken, but he always had a vast repertoire of jokes, sometimes he would say, "You'd better stay right there until I finish telling this one..." which meant he knew I would find it offensive and didn't want to hear it, but when he finished with the joke he was telling that group he'd turn to me and say, "Okay, now here's one you can even tell your pastor." I hope you feel that way about what you find here.

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    Date Here: 04/11/2008 If you click on any advertisers you may find here, either in a text box or anywhere else I cannot be responsible for content that is not on my site. Remember, Caveat Emptor : "Let the buyer beware!"

    Date Here: I still need to fix some stuff...

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    06/17: It COULD Happen This Way

    Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a
    while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help
    but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."

    The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"

    The first guy says, "So am I! And where about from Ireland
    might you be?"

    The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."

    The first guy responds, "So am I! Sure and begorra. And what
    And what street did you live on in Dublin?"

    The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was. I lived on
    McCleary Street in the old central part of town."

    The first guy says, "Faith and it's a small world. So did I!
    So did I! And to what school would you have been going?"

    The other guy answers, "Well, now, I went to St. Mary's, of
    course."

    The first guy gets really excited and says, "And so did I.
    Tell me, what year did you graduate?"

    The other guy answers, "Well, now, let's see. I graduated in
    1964."

    The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down
    upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in
    the same bar tonight. Can you believe it? I graduated from
    St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!"

    About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down, and
    orders a beer.

    Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shakes his head,
    and mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight."

    Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?"

    "The Murphy twins are drunk again."

    Read More »

    Category: General | Posted by: Herb | Add comment

    03/21: Sunday Morning

    After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this morning."

    Read More »

    Category: Religion | Posted by: Herb | 1 Comment

    02/22: Kissing A Nun

    Kissing a Nun

    A taxi cab driver got a call to pick up someone from the
    airport. When he got there, he was surprised to see a nun
    waiting for the taxi. As she climbed into the car and gave
    the driver the address, the driver noticed how beautiful she
    was. As he drove on, he kept looking into his rear-view
    mirror at her. The nun couldn't help but notice him looking
    at her. Finally, the cab driver said, "You know, Sister, I
    think you're really quite beautiful."

    "Well, thank you," she answered.

    The driver went on, "I've always had a fantasy of kissing a
    nun."

    "Really?" she asked. "Well, then, pull over." The driver did
    so. Then the nun asked him a few questions. "Are you
    married?" she asked.

    Read More »

    Category: Religion | Posted by: Herb | Add comment

    11/26: Turkey Nightmare

    When I was a young turkey,
     new to the coop,
     My big brother Mike
     took me out on the stoop.
     
     Then he sat me down,
     and he spoke real slow,
     And he told me there was something
     that I had to know.

    Read More »

    Category: Holiday | Posted by: Herb | Add comment

    10/31: Beethoven

    A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music.  No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.

    He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads:  Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.

    Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward!

    Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.  By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed.  This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.

    Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar.

    When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward.  The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

    By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave.  They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

    Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

    Read More »

    Category: PUNishment | Posted by: Herb | Add comment